I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pooping to opera.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
