Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
