the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i will never coherently bang her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
