There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
