ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was born a porn star she said
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
