You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
