once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When are your genitals available?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
