The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
