the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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