I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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