the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
