so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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