I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
