so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
