Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
