You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
