Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She needs sedatives and a leash
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
