I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
