I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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