I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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