All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
