Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
