I'm passing your future prison.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
