Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
