Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
