take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone signed my nipple.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
