no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
