Me too!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize