How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
