Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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