This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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