Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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