plz talk dirty to me
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
