There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
