i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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