is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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