ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
