Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
