I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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