Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
