just come out here and I will go home with you...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
