go do what you do best...puke behind churches
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
