super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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