eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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