Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
