allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Randomize
