I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
