it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
