We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
