I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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