My girlfriend figured out who you are.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
