trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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