Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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