I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
