I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
