everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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