Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
third nipple confirmed
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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