It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
