the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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