no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
