Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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