Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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