69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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