Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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