hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
